Wow. It's almost over.

Final Sections Outline

Section One – Identity Overlay

1. Introduction
2. Family Relations
3. Life at School
4. Personal Life

Section Two – Self Image

1. Personal Style and Appearance
2. Cliques
3. Family Perceptions
4. Forms of expression
5. Myspace

Appendix 1 – On working with adolescents
Initial period/actual work/reflection
Appendix 2 – Personal Statements from teens
Appendix 3 – Myspace screen printouts/Photos

So it looks like I've got it all figured out. For today anyway. Being the last minute person that I am, I'm still waiting on a few things from the kids. My brother, like me, has yet to give me a personal statement. Caren is inaccessable when she's with her dad, so I won't be able to physically get my hand on hers until Tuesday (God willing). I also want to talk her into sampling some poetry, but I am not sure that she's going to be willing to let me have anything if she knows that people might read it. Then again, she's proud enough to want people to see it.

I guess it's all a matter of doing it now. I just hope that I have the capacity to do the subject itself some justice.

It's been a really long time since I last blogged. I think I might have some ideas for the sections and subsections, but narrowing it down now it kind of worrying me. I feel like when I sit down to put everything into words, a lot more will come out than I am expecting. My material culture paper was like 10 pages. The final thing is going to be a novel.

I'm trying to take notes on the "voice," since I think I'm having trouble with that. I do too much analyzing. I think it's just my personality, but it's hard for me to not be thinking more about what it means than what it actually is, and so that comes out on paper. I'm not sure if that really means more quotes -- that would be the literal way to get the voice out.

Soooo... Final Sections (as of this moment...).

General Identity
-Daily Life
-Family Relations/Structure
-Friendships/Dating
-Sex/Sexuality

Self and Self Image
-Appearance/Style/Body Image
-Personal Expression
-Myspace/Presentation of self
-Influences/Peer Response

I want to fit something in about role models. I think that's a good issue to go over, but I'm not sure where it fits. Maybe with influences on self image? We will see...

The latest post on the homepage is really good. It's really fitting with my two informants. Neither of them is actually allowed to dye their hair, but Pete wants to. The girls in the article seem to be emulating something that they see in adults; as if they are trying to be more grown up (which I find disturbing), but then it turns into being like everyone else. I don't what I want to tell kids more -- a) Be a damn kid. Or b) Be yourself. Nonetheless, my brother always asks me if I can dye his hair for him, but our dad will not allow it. He usually asks me to do it when I am dying my own. Oh, the irony...

So something that I thought was really interesting, but forgot to mention....

When I was looking throught the myspace pages, I noticed that Pete has a blank "About Me" section. So I said something to him. I told him it would be cool if he could write one up, and if he didn't want to post it online, he could just send it to me. (Keep in mind, he had a huge one up until his girlfriend broke up with him a few weeks ago). So he agreed and said he would just post it on the page. But he never did. So I asked him again. I said it was kind of important. Still, nothing. It's fine that he didn't do it. But I'm really wondering what the reason was.

Meanwhile, Caren's whole "About Me" section is just things that her friends have said about her. Compliments and praises.

It's just interesting how kids define themselves, or don't.

Pete's Myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/adioskateteam1

Caren's Myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/italianangel151

I'm definitely having an issue with my male informant. I think it's less about him and more about my more personal connection to him. He's having issues with his parents, and it's really relateable because I obviously have the same parents. I don't think this will be a hindrance as far the project goes, but I'm still wondering about my objectivity. On the other hand I feel like I have a better understanding of him than the female, just because I am able to spend significantly more time with him. Caren spends ever other week with her dad, which means I can't really hang out with her.

Self and self image are definitely becoming the biggest things with both of my informants. They actually seem to have a lot in common, or maybe I'm just thinking that way because I am constantly comparing them. They are both really conscious of body image, clothes, what other people see in them. This weekend Caren told me I was "crazy" because I refused to go in Hollister with her. I'm sorry, but it smells in there and I feel like I'm blind.

Sex is also an issue. When I was 13, did I think about sex this much? I don't think so. I definitely don't think I was as educated about it as these kids are. They grasp more about pregnancy and abortion than I realized. Still everything I hear is in passing from Caren, but I don't want to probe too much because I know she won't talk. If there are any suggestions on how to bring it up without sounding like an interrogation, I'd welcome them.

Both of my informants are really interested in writing in terms of expression. Hopefully I can get some samples to post up here, but I'm not sure how comfortable they'd be with that. Pete is continually writing songs for his "band." Caren is in the process of writing a short story that takes place during the Holocaust. The creativity that I've been seeing is honestly really impressive.

Wow, this is a long one. Okay. I'm done for now.

So my thirteen year old female can rap...

Driving to Wawa to get some Ben and Jerry’s
They got 85 flavors
Like blueberry and cherry
I wont be in church
So say hi to Saint Mary
Cause I’ll be too busy eating my Ben and Jerry's
I won’t be in school
Cause my teacher's real scary
And I’ll be at home cause I got some Ben and Jerry's
Yea I guess
I’ve been gaining some weight
But it aint my fault - its Ben and Jerry’s
Don’t hate!

My female informant just posted a myspace bulletin entitled "virgin list." Basically, every person listed his or her name and whether or not they believed that the person on the list before them is a virgin or not. Maybe I was a late bloomer, but when I was 13, I hadn't even kissed a boy (outside of maybe my Backstreet Boys poster). I definitely hadn't thought about losing my virginity yet. So I'm wondering how I can get this to come up in conversation with her to see what she really thinks, not just what she wants her myspace community to see.

As for the male informant and sex, it's getting touchy. He's shy and very, very prude. Still, a few days ago I came upstairs and a male friend of mine had spent the night. I mentioned to my brother that he was there and his response was, "Wow, you must have been drunk last night." My immediate response was to assert what a responsible adult I am with, "I was designated driver and his is just a friend." Whether or not he believed me, I don't know, but the fact that his perception of a male and female sleeping in the same room being linked with alcohol was a bit disconcerting.

I also discovered a new teen word: "beast." It means cool or awesome.

I think my female informant might be the most entertaining kid... ever. I almost want to bring her in for show-and-tell or something. She raps. It's absolutely hysterical. I'm just worried that shes not up for getting personal. She's constantly playing the center of attention, cracking jokes, acting crazy. I don't know if she's going to get serious in our talks, or keep it light.

Things are obviously going better with my male informant. He pretty much talks to me all the time. I kind of wanted to beat up his seventh grade girlfriend, though. She broke up with him the day before V-day. Saved me having to take him shopping for a gift, but still... He was pretty upset.

I'm going to try to take both of them out at the beginning of next week. I want to see them react to one another in kind of an intimate situation where there are only a few of us.

After class today, I definitely realized that the myspace project was a good idea. It's one thing for a kid to express him or herself with words, but myspace utilizes so many other things. They backgrounds, the pictures, and the language. It's a mini society, almost, and myspacers really do create and identity for themselves online.

In the book Invisible Monsters (which I doubt anyone else has read), there's a quote that says "the difference between how you look and how you see yourself is enough to kill most people." I think teen interest in myspacing and creating these images is definitely a manifestation of the way our culture works. We all want to be looked at in a certain way... It's just amplified by teens because they aren't even sure who they are yet.